


To Remember

by sassenachwaffles



Series: Outlander Polaroid Series [5]
Category: Outlander (TV)
Genre: F/M, Feels, Fluff, wee bit o angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-22
Updated: 2018-01-22
Packaged: 2019-03-08 08:14:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13454130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sassenachwaffles/pseuds/sassenachwaffles
Summary: What if Claire had also taken a Polaroid Camera through the stones? Series @annalisedemoodboardsI imagine Claire calling out to Jamie to wait, pulling him back from the entrance to the cave where she can feel the energy from the stones. I imagine her pulling the photos and the camera out of her pocket to hand them over to Jamie… just in case. She hates the thought of leaving but she will do anything for Brianna. For Young Ian, too. Without over thinking (there’s no time for that), she snaps a photo of Jamie, hands the camera over and shoves the polaroid into her pocket without even waiting for it to develop - fingers crossed it still will. Jamie gives her a ‘look’. “For Brianna,” she tells him. “For me,” she adds.





	To Remember

**Author's Note:**

> https://annalisedemoodboards.tumblr.com/tagged/polaroid

[ ](http://tinypic.com?ref=vfkoc9)

I had known loss and death, neither was a foreign concept to me. In fact, I had known and felt, hell even endured, both at a young age. Starting with my parents, and then Uncle Lamb, my grandparents. And then with Frank, we had lost each other for nearly 6 years separated by a world war. I had been willing to give my life on the front lines for my country myself, not once, but twice in my life.

I could feel the hums and the vibrations as we got closer to the cave. It was the same as Craig Na Dun, but there was a different rhythm to the hums to this cave. It was stronger, steadier, and even still being so far away still- I could feel it deep in my belly, almost like it was already trying to touch my soul, already trying to carry me away. I had stopped for a moment and Jamie had turned to look at me. While he could not hear nor feel what I did, he knew it was calling me. He grabbed my hand and slid it through his belt.

“Yer no going anywhere, not this time.” Jamie said as he stopped and looked at me. It was dark, but he held a torch close to his face, and I could see his blue eyes as they filled with dread and despair. I saw his shoulders drop and the as he pulled my face to look at him directly in the face, I could see the longing and heartache. I knew the look on his face, I had seen it only once more in my life, and it haunted me for twenty long years after. “I willna let anythin happen to ye, ye hear me?” Jamie said, pleading either with me or himself, I honestly couldn’t tell. 

I nodded and cusped his cheek with the hand that wasn’t wrapped in his belt. “I hear you.”

He smiled softly, and turned to start making his way to the cave again. We moved quickly through some of the tropical bush and right as the hum started to pound in me like the weight of a thousand men, we saw the entrance to the cave. I stopped for a moment, trying to catch my breath and collect myself. I pulled Jamie back and quickly reached in my pocket. He watched me, realizing what I was doing. I looked at him with pleading eyes and just barely above an audible voice spoke to him. “Smile.” I said.

Jamie looked up and did not do what I told him, but still, I took the picture anyway. As it printed, I waited for it to fully come out of the camera and quickly shoved them into the pockets of my dress. I squeezed his hand as he turned to enter the cave.

We walked into the cave slowly. The closer and closer we crept, the harder, the faster, the deeper the humming was. A few steps into the cave and I felt it in my my belly, I had to tell him. If this were it- if this were the the only time I had left with him, I had to say it.

“I can hear the hum.” I said, and I stopped in my tracks. “Jamie the portal must be near by, if it takes me, I may not be able to come through again.”

I could tell by the look on his face, he was having the same thoughts I was.

“Ye ken that if anything should happen to me, ye must still follow her. Ye must go, we lost Faith. We willna lose Brianna.” He said. And that look, the one that haunted my dreams for twenty years, was on his face again. Overcome with emotion, for Ian, for our daughter, and for the daunting thought of possibly having to live without Jamie again- after being given a second chance, I had no words. He didn’t either. I felt his hand cusp my jaw as he drew me close, and kissed me tenderly and softly. Actions speaking for all the things we couldn’t bare to say. He looked at me and nodded, I nodded in return.

He paused again, his hand still holding my face, as he looked down and nodded to my skirt. I clutched my side and pulled the photos of Brianna out.

“Take these. So you, should anything happen, you have her and me to carry with you, always.” I said as I passed him the photos.

“Claire.” He whispered, giving me a look. For a face I knew as well as my own, and for a man who’s thoughts I could read and decipher like the back of my own hand, stumped me for a moment. I clutched his side, pulling him close, kissing him softly one more time.

“For Brianna.” I whispered. “And for me.” I said, the desperation evident on my face. Clinging on to what might be my final moments with him, I was pulled back to this same situation nearly two decades before. Except this time was different, there were two people who’s lives were in our hands. 

Jamie opened his eyes and looked down at me. We nodded in silent agreement once more. Unsure as to the outcome of the events once more, I basked in the knowledge that at least I had seen him once more, he had seen his daughter, and I had told him I loved him. Jamie had told me on that hill ‘Lort, ye gave me a rare woman, and God I love her well.’ I said that silent thanks to any deity that might be above and listening, for even if he or I did not make it out of this, at least we had loved the other with a soul deep love.

As hard is it might be, for Bree, I could do it. I could live without him. I had loved and lost once like this before, I hoped, I prayed, and thanked the God above for bringing Jamie into my life. For having thought I had known loss and death before, I had never truly known what it was like to endure it- for Jamie- Jamie was the one person that made it the hardest choice, but easiest at the same time. He would always be the hardest goodbye I would ever have.

Jamie turned and we made our way toward Geillis and Ian. His hand holding mine, I could feel the beat of his heart, steady in mine, as our hearts beat as one. Whatever would come, whatever we were to face, I knew we’d make it.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, as always!


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